rambles and FRG's

I listened to Spousebuzz radio last night regarding FRG’s. It was an interesting program and it got me thinking…here are some of my rambling thoughts...

When Stuntman was deployed, I barely knew any of the “lingo” or “Armyspeak”. Whatever I’ve learned since, came from Stuntman, or from online sources.

I never thought of the Army helping me through this deployment. I just figured that Stuntman would be gone, and I would need to make do on my own.

After Stuntman left for training I did receive a newsletter from the FRG. I contacted the leader (who has since changed) and asked if there was anything I should know or that I could do. That was the one and only time I spoke with my FRG leader.

There have been two get-togethers in the last year, and I attended one. I did attend a meeting that was for a different FRG , just to see if I was missing anything… I wasn’t.

There have been discussions about pre-deployment briefings on Spousebuzz… I had no idea that there should have been something like this. At the farewell ceremony, there was a table in the corner with a few Tricare flyers on it… does that count?

In the last year, I’ve had to figure out a new health plan and new paychecks with weird terminology that I’ve never seen before. Reading the comments in Spousebuzz, I know I’m not the only one. Thank God for Spousebuzz and other milspouse blogs out there.

I don’t remember the name of my FRG leader, the name of the rear detachment guy, or the name of my husband’s company commander. I’m sure the names are on one of the 3 flyers that I have received in the last year… but I don’t really care... they obviously don’t care to know me. God forbid, if anything was to happen to Stuntman, or there was an emergency at home, I doubt I would be able to reach these people. I have called two of them, to RSVP for the last get-together, and never reached anyone. I did receive a return email… almost 2 months later.

I’ve only found out about casualties directly from Stuntman, or the defenselink website . Once again, if Stuntman was more seriously injured, I have no idea what would happen.

Since Stuntman is ARNG, I know my situation is drastically different than active duty spouses. I’m not in a new location; I don’t live on post, or even near one. I’m older, and have been self-sufficient in the past… but not for as long a duration. I don’t need an FRG for day-to-day issues. I mainly wanted to be in touch with one, and attend meetings so my children would know other children that have deployed fathers.

We’re over 2/3 of the way through this deployment… and I’ve made it this far.

It’s just as if Stuntman is on an extended business trip … except business trips don’t last as long, and when he’s on a business trip, I don’t worry about an official-looking car appearing in my driveway.

I’ve mentioned before that I don’t feel as if I’m part of the military. My husband is, but I’m just here… day after day.. living my civilian life. I am so proud of what he is doing, and of his choice to join. The only difference between my neighbors and me is that I have a military ID in my wallet… an ID that I only take out in conjunction with my Tricare card. Should I feel like a part of something bigger? maybe.

Over the Weekend

We had a pretty good weekend.
Busy…but not overly so.
On Saturday we went to our first FRG meeting. It was an FRG for a company other than my husband’s, but one close to my home. I had met the leader some time ago and she invited me. I was hoping that my kids would meet other soldier’s kids, and they did. The FRG leader was very upbeat and had done a lot of preparation for the day…crafts for the kids, flyers for the adults. The turnout was disappointing…one, yes one family from the unit attended. With the addition of my family (from another unit), that made a total of two. Two families…the leader stayed upbeat, but I could tell that she was disappointed in the turnout. The notification of the meeting went out late, but still, it was disappointing.
Saturday evening was fun. A friend of mine invited us over for a little birthday get-together. He’s a friend from work, and is always checking to make sure that we’re not sitting around bored on the weekends. With 3 kids, that usually isn’t the case…there is almost always something happening on the weekend. The food was catered…and it was good…really, really, good. I’m not even sure what it was…beef and chicken skewers with various dips, spicy pasta salad, marinated shrimp, little beef-filled wontons, marinated asparagus, and fried chicken. He said my Hubby was “an American Hero” when people asked about him. The kids had a great time. They had more fun at a 51 yr. old’s birthday party than they had at a party in quite a while.
Sunday was filled with church, lunch, and shopping (needed the biggies: dogfood and diapers).
I had a lot of fun with my children this weekend…no major fights between them and no major discipline needed. I wish Hubby could have been here to enjoy it. He did go to church, as a flat-daddy, but he stayed in the car.

Am I missing something?!

How hard is it to return a phone call or email? Seriously.
I give up on the FRG, I don't know what information they would even give me. If it wasn't for the milspouse blogs that I read, I wouldn't even feel like my Hubby's IN the military. I haven't met ONE person with a family member in his unit. I missed the one event that was planned...I almost drove those 140miles just to see someone, but my car, and the engine, had other plans. The lone newsletter, in July, spoke of the upcoming farewell ceremony...in JUNE!
GEESH!

FRG?

Finally...today I met someone from the FRG (Family Readiness Group). Hubby has been gone 5 months now and I met an FRG leader. Not the one from Hubby's company, but a different one from the same battalion. My Hubby's company is based pretty far away from here, plus they haven't met as of yet. This company is based within 20 miles of my home so I contacted the leader a few weeks ago to introduce myself. One newsletter came out a couple months ago, and in it she stated that anyone could contact her, regardless of the company they're affiliated with, so I did. We went to lunch. She seemed like a very nice woman and has a few plans in the works.
I'm not sure exactly what an FRG does, but I thought that it would be nice to meet someone nearby that had kids. I think the girls would like to meet other kids who's daddy's are deployed. There is picnic scheduled in a month for the entire battalion and we are planning on attending. I hope we meet some people that live nearby. The picnic is about a 2 hour drive from my home so I'm not sure how many families from my area will be attending. I don't mind driving, but it is a hindrance for some people.

The rest of the day went by quickly. The kids and I had a great swim after dinner. The pool was very warm. I had left the cover on for a few days and it was nice and toasty. I need to remove the cover tomorrow or it'll get too warm...then turn the color of pond scum. The chlorine level is impossible to maintain when it reaches too high of a temp. Happened to me once this summer already, and oh what a pain it is to get it back to crystal blue water. It sure is an ego crusher when a chemist can't maintain a pool!

Watched "Army Wives" on Lifetime tonight. I'm really getting into that show. I realize that it's basically just "Desperate Housewifes" on post and there are a lot of unrealistic things on the show, but I'm really enjoying it.

I began reading the book Portraits of theToughest Job in the Army, Voices and Faces of Modern Army Wives. My neighbor told me of a book her friend wrote, so I looked into it, ordered it from Amazon, and now I find myelf being interrupted every time I pick it up. Yes, I could read it right now, but as soon as I'm done typing, I'm back upstairs typing on my other computer so I get paid. Work is a little busy, I just needed a 10 minute break. I'm enjoying it so far, I'll write more when I am finished. One thing I don't agree with is the title. I think Hubby has it MUCH tougher. He misses me, the kids, home, good food, and people are trying to kill him.

Tomorrow's Monday...