There has been discussion around the blogsphere regarding what and how much we should tell our deployed spouses . I saw it again today in a comment from Jan over at Standing By. If we’re having a terrible day, do we tell them? Is it just adding stress to their already stressful day? There is even a recent article in Stars&Stripes that acknowledges that communication from home can increase a soldier’s stress.
I know everyone has a different opinion on this topic, and each spouse really needs to do what they feel is best for them, their spouses and their marriage.
Realistically, my worst day here is better than Hubby’s best day over there. Yes, the kids can drive me crazy, the pipe may be leaking under the house, the car needs new brakes and the dogs won’t shut up. It is still a far cry from IED’s, extreme heat, biting flies and rats sneaking into his tent. Sometimes when my Hubby calls, I just need to vent to my best friend. I need to tell him exactly what’s going on. I do when I need to, and he listens. He knows that there is nothing that he can physically do for me at that moment. He can only listen through the delays and static.
So far, venting to Hubby has been a rarity. Usually, when I answer the phone and hear his voice, the stress melts away and a little smile sneaks onto my lips.
Hubby and I discussed this topic before he left. We decided upon a code phrase that he would use if I was telling him too much…if I was talking about things he could not help me with…things that were either of no consequence, or too stressful for him to deal with at that time.
So far, he’s only used the code once, and he said “just put a newspaper over it until I get home, Honey”.