I'm stimulating the economy

The service guy just called...
it seems that living on the side of a mountain, and driving up and down that mountain several times a day can be really hard on brakes.
I know where a big chunk of my stimulus check is going.

I shouldn't let it get to me...

I shouldn't let it get to me , but it does.
I can't really go into much detail, but suffice it to say that some people are selfish jerks.

I tried to do everything they wanted just in order to keep the peace while Stuntman was gone... but it wasn't enough.. I guess I'm the asshole now. whatever. you're bugging me about $90 when you owe us many, many times that?! whatever.
You've had such a tough year... really? did you once ask if I needed any help... did you once call to see if I was OK? if the kids were OK? did it bother you when you yelled at me at my own birthday party? I'm done now. I am so done being nice. I'm not going to answer your calls just so you can yell at me. yea for caller ID.

I slept almost 2 hours last night in-between crying because of hurtful things said and my mind racing and not allowing my body to rest.

in other news... Sparky is ill... the vet is doing diagnostic tests but hasn't found anything yet. She's gone from 50 lbs to 36 lbs. I bring her back to the vet tomorrow for more tests. I love that goofy dog.

Order today

I just ordered a copy of the new Sesame Street DVD "Talk, Listen, Connect: Deployments, Homecomings, Changes" from Military OneSource.
The kids really enjoyed the first Elmo DVD, "Talk, Listen, Connect", and E2 still asks to watch it occasionally when she misses her Daddy.
Today, there is a "new additional video and parent/caregiver materials designed to help children of injured veterans and other returning service members adjust to the changes in their parents."
Of ALL the deployment related DVD's and books that I received and purchased, I believe the original Elmo story "Talk, Listen, Connect" was the one the children liked the most.
Thank you, Sesame Street, for creating such a helpful program. Thank you, Military Onesource and WalMart, for making it available for free.

Feeling hot, hot, hot

It was a hot one today. 100+ degrees out here... I know, it's still a dozen or two degrees cooler than Stuntman is feeling right now, but it's still hot.
and... the first nearby fire. yippie. fire season has begun.
Our "defensible space" is clear, we have a stucco house with a metal roof, so we're good to go for living where we do.

Roxie dog has been swimming a few times already. She heard the pool gate open and came running. Emma... not so sure about the pool. We'll need to get her in there this summer to make sure that she can swim. I have a feeling that she may be an anchor like Pumpkin was. Too little body fat, too much muscle. We'll see.

The girls swam today. E3 and I watched and sat at the steps splashing our feet.

Summer has begun.

I think it snowed at my sister's house in Minnesota yesterday.
and she wonders why I moved.

the photo was taken from the freeway by E1. It is of the fire in Sierra Madre... hopefully to be contained soon.

Homecoming outfit, check!

I went to a CAbi party at a friends house last night. I don't usually attend home shopping parties, and I wasn't expecting to like the clothes that were at the party last night, but I needed an evening away from the kids... I don't remember the last one that I had, but I'm sure it was to a PTO or Girl Scout leader meeting.
I had a blast at the party. It was so much fun to see the other moms from school in a different environment.
I wasn't sure if I liked the CAbi line of clothing... I didn't really care for what the sales consultant was wearing. It was OK for someone else, but not me, and the catalog wasn't very inspiring.
I tried on a LOT of the clothes and loved a LOT of them. So many were flattering for my body type. I often have difficulty finding the correct fit in stores, I guess I am an hourglass shape and I rarely find anything that fits well at Target or the mall. Sometimes at Nordstrom's, but the prices there are even higher than CAbi.
It was so much fun to get the feedback from my friends on the different items that I tried on, and I found a great outfit for the homecoming ceremony. I'm sure it'll be blazing hot that day, whenever it is, it usually is this time of year... but even if it isn't the outfit will work.
I'm going to try to host a party of my own when the fall collection comes out. Only problem is that you have to clean ALL of the rooms in your house so that people have places to change. There goes my usual dash-and-hide method of cleaning prior to most parties.

You know it's summer when...

you receive the LAFD brush clearance booklet.
Better start checking around the yard, inspections begin next week.
I wonder if this will be a bad year...

I heart Skype

Yesterday, we were on a webcam call with Stuntman. A really good connection this time.
E3 threw a football to Stuntman, hit him right between the eyes. He didn't catch it.
Luckily it was a Nerf football, or it could have hurt... my computer.

I spent 5 minutes looking at the installation instructions of my new windshield wipers... I didn't get it. So I did what Stuntman would do and just took off the old ones and slipped on the new ones. No problem, no instructions needed.

Then I needed to install new car seats for the E's. The instructions made no sense. I installed them by instinct, no problem. I did review the car seat instructions afterward to make sure that I did it right, and I had. The instructions made sense after I had actually done it.

Now, neither of us read the instructions.

I am so pregnant

OK, I think I just heard the thud of Stuntman falling over by just typing that title.
I'm not really pregnant, pregnant... but my new favorite lunch would have been perfect when I was!

For E1, I craved spicy buffalo wings... with E2, Chinese food, and E3, fruit.
I craved beer with all three, but didn't drink any.

Now I've been eating a quesadilla for lunch filled with jalepeno jelly, sliced apple, and a touch of monterey jack cheese. If I didn't know better, I would think that I was pregnant.

sorry for the title... I don't think another baby will be joining us around here.
My doctor told me that I'll be hitting menopause in less than 10 years, based on my blood tests... that was 9 years ago. Oh, the joy of anticipation.

Are we there yet?

We can see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Stuntman left over a year ago for pre-deployment training.
The tail end of this deployment seems to be going by soooo slowly. It feels like the month prior to Christmas when I was a kid.
I have plenty to keep myself busy… Girl Scouts, dog obedience, practicing E1’s talent show act, helping E1’s class with an upcoming event, and of course all of the daily work around here… cooking, cleaning, etc.., oh, I forgot my 20-30 hr a week at-home job.
Time should be flying by.
It’s not.
…and it’s really not that close. I know if any one of my friend’s husbands would be gone for just the remaining time Stuntman has left, they would be complaining constantly.

I think the kids are anticipating the upcoming return of their daddy… they have been EXTRA whiny lately. It’s either whines, screams, or whiny-screams around here. They are using every ounce of my patience.

The roller-coaster ride needs to stop now.


My moods are on the roller coaster too. I fluctuate between two feelings:

1. Wow! I can’t believe that we made it this far… piece of cake! If Stuntman has to deploy again in the future, I know that I can handle it.

and

2. I don’t think I can make it one more day!

Which shoes should I wear?

I miss the oddest things about Stuntman.
I miss having someone to help dress me.
Occasionally I need to ask "do these jeans make me look fat?" and I need someone to answer.
No, it's not a trick question for Stuntman... and no, he never outright says "yes", but sometimes he does suggest wearing something else.
I need that honesty.
If I ask my kids how something looks (I never ask if I look fat to my kids, I don't want to add to body image issues that the media is already throwing their way)... my kids always say "you look beautiful, Mommy"
It's a great ego boost, but not always the answer I was looking for. I just need to know if I match, what shoes look best, or if I look like I got dressed in the dark... because often I do.

According to E2, part 3?

E2 was sweeping the patio today (ok, not very well, but it's a start)
I said something about the broom and she told me:
"Mom, this isn't a broom... it's a sweeper. Sweepers sweep, and brooms fly"

Field trip

I took my Girl Scout Brownie troop to the Griffith Observatory today. Seven and eight year-old girls have so much energy, except when they need to walk to and from the car.
We had planned a trip earlier, but it was rescheduled.
We had a fun time, but it went much too quickly.
Now on to the weekend. Breakfast with friends in the am.

Holding my breath

This entire deployment, I’ve been afraid of something…
I’ve been terrified that something would happen to one of the kids… on my watch, and it would be my fault.
I’m the only one responsible around here for the care of our three beautiful children and it scares the crap out of me.
I do the best that I can, and try to use all of my eyes, including the ones in the back of my head. So far, we’ve only had one ER trip for the gash on E1’s head… the 3 staples were removed last week and she’s doing fine.
I’ve had horrible nightmares that will not leave my memory.
As we near the end of the deployment, I’m worrying more. Some nights I can hardly sleep.
I can’t wait for Stuntman to be home, so I can go back to my normal mom level of worrying about the kids.

an affordable luxury

I had groceries delivered yesterday.
The store had a special, money off, free delivery, so how could I say no?

I've never had a problem bringing the girls into the store. They acted like model children... then I had E3.
I absolutely love his abundant energy. He is so much fun to be around and watch. ... but at certain times, such as during mass, or at the grocery store, it is exhausting.

By ordering online, I bought everything on my list, and nothing more. no impulse buys :)

All 3 kids are sick with a fever today and a slight cold. So I'm glad that I ordered, or I would have to get really creative for lunch and dinner.

The delivery guy brought the bags into the kitchen, and Emma didn't even bark. She barks at everyone and everything. Maybe it was because he was bringing food.
He did see her, and say "what is that?, a badger?"
Come to think of it, she does look like a badger.

I can't wait for the next delivery special so I can order again.

Today, I went to breakfast with a few friends. We all have children in 2nd grade and met after drop-off today. I left E2 and E3 at home with my neighbor. It was my birthday celebration ... I hadn't told anyone about my birthday beforehand... but when they found out that I had a surprise party last weekend, they felt bad that they had missed it and had a celebration of their own.
I haven't laughed that hard for some time... and it wasn't just the pomegranate mimosas.

For my lawyer friends...

The kids and I were having a round of "why did the chicken cross the road" jokes in the car. Everyone was coming up with new ones... some were actually funny.
... but my favorite was by E2

E2: "why did the duck become a lawyer?"
everyone else: : "I don't know, why did the duck become a lawyer?"
E2: "because the goose was on vacation!"

I really have no idea why we all laughed, and laughed on this one.

Watching

We went to the drive-in again tonight.
We saw Nim's Island. E3 slept the entire time... yeah!, and E2 and E1 enjoyed the movie without little brother climbing all over the car.
**spoiler alert**
At the end, when Nim's missing father sailed home, the girls had the biggest smiles on their faces. The exact same smiles that I had seen not long ago when Stuntman walked off of the plane for R&R. I loved watching the girls reactions while they watched the father-daughter reunion on screen.... I have to admit, that it brought a few tears to my eyes.

No more coffee

I walk into my favorite coffee place today and walk out without buying anything.
Here's why:
This coffee place has awesome coffee, but what is even better is that in a corner of the shop is a great little play area for the kiddos. It has a train table, puzzles, games, all things my kids LOVE. I often have time in the morning between dropping off E1 at school, and dropping off E2 at school. Sometimes we go to the park, sometimes we run home and change out of our pj's and sometimes we hit the coffee place. I get a delicious cup of coffee and lounge on the cushioned bench while watching the kids play and they sometimes have a smoothie and a bagel. It's a total win-win situation.
Today, we walk in (actually E3 is running and happily screaming about the trains) and lo and behold... no play area. There are tables and chairs in place of the train table and toys. E3 is frantically looking around , under the chairs, behind the bench, everywhere, looking for the toys. He puts his little hands up, shrugs his shoulders and says "trains?"
I ask the guy behind the counter and he says "we're under new ownership, and the new owner's lawyer says the play area was too much of a liability so we removed it"
COME ON!
There were signs all over the place telling you that it is your own responsibility to watch your own kids. It's common sense, but they had the freakin' signs anyhow. Just because there are some idiot parents out there that don't watch their kids in public places, it ruins it for the rest of us. Damn it!
So I walked out, no coffee, no smoothie, E2 and E3 crying because they want to play with the now non-existent toys.

We went to the park instead. I think I have a black eye because E3 cracked me in the bridge of my nose when he was swinging. If I would have had my coffee first, it wouldn't have happened.
Maybe I'll sue.

one more reason I love him...

I sent an email to Stuntman, telling him how much I love him and am proud of him. I received this reply:

“It is not a hard thing to be out here. I think your job during this deployment is harder and I am the one that is proud, proud of you and my kids for being there when I needed you. The words, the care packages, the pictures, the love that I needed. love, Stuntman”

I'll watch again

Tough to watch... but I have now watched it three times.
Maybe it will help me understand Stuntman a little more when he returns home.
It is a very well done program.
You can watch online, or watch again on TV. At least in my area, it repeats several times during the next week.
I'm very grateful for the technology that enables us to see this war as we have never seen previous ones.

...and before anyone asks, no, Stuntman is not in Bad Voodoo platoon