I was at the gym, pedaling my ass off, literally, and watching CNN. They were doing a video montage of the last 5 years of the Iraq war… and it hit me.
Here I am, in my middle-class suburbia life and the love of my life is… there.
It’s not as if I haven’t seen video of the war before…
or thought of the current differences of our two lives…
but for some reason, I became weepy, right there in the gym.
I’ve never doubted that when this deployment was over, that we would just pick up where we left off… that our relationship would be the same… that we would be the same… that we would be the same together.
I’ve read about reintegration issues and problems, but I never thought that those would apply to us. We’ve always been two halves of the same whole.
It’s not as if his time home on leave gave me any doubts. We were “us” again.
… but for some reason, seeing those videos of the war hit home today. Stuntman has seen things that I can only imagine, and things that I don’t care to imagine. We’ve discussed some of the things he’s seen… some of the places he’s been… but I’m still so naïve.
I’m sure he’ll still be my easy-going Stuntman… But I know he will have changed somehow. How could he not?
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5 comments:
A set of sobering thoughts, TripleE. Change Happens, to modify an ol' saying.
You're wise to think about the possibilities, even the negative ones. Forethought makes transitions easier, if not painless. I've seen both good and bad outcomes in this space, and my thoughts are with you.
excellent post. we had a long discussion on this a few months ago and it was the first time we had really talked about the war and how it had changed him, me and us in five years. its a lot to take in and sometimes it seems so removed (despite having someone over there) that you dont think it has a place in your life. yet there is goes wiggling its way in.
it seems like you all have such a great relationship and wonderful kids. thats got to help a lot!
The two of you had a strong relationship going in and I'm confident the two of you will navigate any reintegration issues with the same conscientious methods.
You will BOTH have changed, but that's okay. You can meet back in the middle and keep on moving forward together.
They do change, we change, and that is just something we can't stop. Change will happen no matter what is going on, most of the time we don't see it right off. As over used as this is all I can say is Hang in There. :)
Gunner changed a lot, so did I. But we have too much love and respect for each other to not figure it out and make it even better than it was before. He will never be the same sweet, innocent boy that I married, but the Hero that he has become is priceless.
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