Saturday, December 1, 2007

A Little Christmassy

Tonight we went to a local Christmas parade. It was chilly outside, probably mid-forties. (chilly for my SoCal blood and those around me)
It was a fun parade. A small-town atmosphere, everyone and their brother was in it.
Santa did 3 fly-bys in a helicopter and waved at the crowd, and it concluded with Santa on a fire truck waving at the kids. We watched, sipping hot cocoa and eating churros. E3 waved and yelled “Hi!” to almost everyone walking by in the parade. His little hand was just waving for over an hour straight.
It was a nice end to a day that had it’s down moments.
I decided that I wanted to put up the tree this weekend. I have an fake everlasting tree after having real trees for years. I got sick of the needles and the dropping ornaments in the middle of the night.
The only thing I had on Stuntman’s to-do list before he left was to bring the tree out of the attic and put it into the downstairs storage room. I searched the room today…no tree.
I checked the attic…there’s the tree. It’s a huge box. I hate the attic…it creeps me out. I’ve carried the tree box before, I was the one that brought it home from the store, but today I could not budge it. I couldn’t open the box to take the tree out piece by piece. My sore arm (it’s been hurting for months, a strain from carrying E3) was killing me. I realized that I was stuck. I was stuck putting together a Christmas for the family… alone.
I broke down in tears; tears of frustration because of the f!%&#ing tree, and tears from the realization that Stuntman would not be celebrating Christmas with us this year.
How am I suppose to do this?! Who ever thought that I could do this!? Dammit!
E3 then came around the corner and looked at me… I realized that I needed to get over it and just do it. I did. The tree is up, but we’re decorating it tomorrow.


Buck Pennington said...

The parade sounds like a good time; the tree and associated "stuff," not so much. Not at ALL, actually.

The holidays are the worst for you and others in your situation, TripleE, not to mention your Better Half. FWIW (and the worth is minuscule, at best, in the general scheme of things) you are very high in my thoughts and prayers.

I wish you strength and courage.

Kelly said...

This could have been my post today-minus the parade and the tree- but the tears thing. Someone must have sent out a memo to all military wives to break down because of the approaching holidays. I read on a card once (and keep reminding myself) to walk towards the sunshine and the shadows will fall behind you. Soon, all of these deployment shadows will be behind us and we will look back and laugh. Good luck...and keep smiling.

Marine Wife said...

we put up our everlasting tree as well and our few paltry decorations. then i realized things were missing that were never delivered from storage when we moved here. and the house just doesn't look very festive to me. more kind of sad and pathetic really. so... I hear you, sister, and I'm right there with you. It will get better and we WILL get thru it!